Don’t think of this as a guide to getting back into the dating world after a long relationship; this is strictly for single adults who want to have fun with various partners without having to commit to each other; ‘adult dating’ is really Hookups 101. Millennials know this stuff by heart, and it’s time older generations get in on the game.
This listicle serves as a guide for single adults who want to have sex but aren’t really down with the whole ‘relationship’ thing, or at least want a break before meeting someone special. Your game might be a little rusty, or you simply want to expand your horizons and hookup with someone totally new; either way, you’ve come to the right place.
Here is everything beginners need to know about adult dating; pretty basic guidelines, but it’s better to know the course before you play.
It’s Just Sex, So Go For Someone You Want To Sleep With
Adult dating isn’t necessarily two adults meeting together to see if they’re compatible; adults can have just as much fun as younger generations do. If you’re seeing someone, there’s no rush to commit, but just make sure that they’re not waiting around for you to make things official when you just want something casual and noncommittal.
So, who should you look for? Well, you should try to hookup with whoever you think is most attractive; hookups are all about pleasure and satisfaction, so grab someone who you think is particularly cute or sexy, or whatever physical qualities that float your boat.
If you end up falling for each other, well that’s just an added bonus (although beware that this doesn’t happen often in the hookup realm, and it usually doesn’t end well for either of you).
When it comes to adult dating, the only requirement you need to meet is being physically attracted to someone. Once you check that box, it’s off to the races.
Look Your Best, Put On Positive Vibes
Whether you had a rough day at work or not, put on a good show for your date; look good, look confident, have fun, and make them feel comfortable with you. If they have a fun time with you, you’ll certainly have a fun time a little later.
The whole point of hooking up, even if you’re adults, is to have fun and have sex without the commitment and all aspects that come along with legitimate relationships; even if you don’t plan on seeing each other again, have fun together and just enjoy the moment.
You can’t feel bad about looking back on positive memories, so go ahead and keep the vibe care-free.
Even Though You Might Not See Each Other Again, Go Some Place Nice
It’s boring and not sexy to just ask someone to hookup and not do anything else beforehand; even if you plan on deleting their number, take them out for drinks or a bite to eat. When you take a potential hookup out for drinks or something to eat, you’re allowing yourselves time to build some chemistry and face it, it would be awkward as hell to have sex with some random person you barely know without doing anything else before sex.
That is, unless you’re both into that.
Don’t Get To Know Every Detail About Their Life – Just Scrape The Surface
When people have sex in a hookup situation, it can be hard not to develop feelings for the other person as you spend time together and inevitably get to know one another, at least a little bit. It happens to the best of us, but it’s in your best interest not to get to know them and learn intimate details about their life; if you’ve reached that point, you’re no longer just hooking up, you’re essentially dating.
To keep from getting your wires crossed, only meet up on weekends or just a few times a month. Also, meet up in social settings, rather than bringing in takeout to their place; you’re heading into relationship territory when you hang out together alone.
If you want to have noncommittal sex that’s fun and refreshing, don’t let any dating characteristics slip into the hookup you’ve got going on. Oh, and when you meet up, you don’t even have to chat – just get right to it; it is a hookup, after all.
Don’t Text Each Other, Unless It’s To Coordinate
To keep the hookup a hookup, you need to go against your dating instincts and basically act like the partner who doesn’t care; if both of you play that game, no one will get attached and thus, no one gets hurt. If you haven’t seen each other in a while, send a text asking if they’re free that night, but never text them to strike up a conversation.
Now, if they text you and it’s not a sext or asking if you’re free to meet, either ignore the message completely or diffuse the situation appropriately – your heart may flutter at their interest in you, but trust me, you don’t want to get attached.
Leave It All In Bed
It’s only a hookup, but that doesn’t mean you get to skip the whole ‘effort’ part; make sure both of you have a great time in bed. The better the sex, the more fun you’ll have, and that’s pretty much the point of this idea; hookups are a nice stress reliever, they’re relaxing and fun, and make you feel refreshed.
If you’ve had a terrible day or week or year, just leave it at the door and pretend that world doesn’t exist anymore; all you’re doing now is hooking up.
Don’t Rush Into Figuring Things Out
If you never discussed what you two ‘are’, it can be tricky if you’ve been hooking up for a while. Millennials typically end hookups after a few months tops, as that keeps people from getting attached and makes the separation a lot easier – no broken hearts that way.
That being said, people get confused or send the wrong message all the time, but if you make your intentions clear from the beginning, no one will get attached. If you end up really liking each other, well, that’s a bridge you’ll have to cross when you get there.
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